- I really need to generate some income this week from my business to help with the bills, but the school/ church / scouts /team has asked me to volunteer for the (field trip, party, project, etc…) and I feel bad telling them no.
- SOLUTION: First…be ready at any time with this rehearsed response: “Thanks so much for thinking of me. Let me look at my work calendar for the week and get back with you. I’ll let you know by (fill in blank with a time).” Now, look at your calendar and establish your work schedule for the week. Be honest with yourself and determine how much time you need to be on the phone making sales, booking or coaching calls, how much time you need to be conducting business outside the home and when the best time is for each of these things to occur (don’t schedule your call time when you know people won’t be there to answer the phone…that’s not scheduling, that’s passive aggressive avoidance ~ a topic for another day!). Once you have done that, look and see what time you DO have available and make that promised return call with what you CAN do. Maybe you can’t do the entire thing that was asked, but you can contribute in a less time consuming way. Sometimes the ‘no’ boundary is a compromise instead of a slammed door. However, if you really don't have time to say yes at this very moment, that's a perfectly acceptable answer! Try saying something like "I've looked at all that I am already committed to at this time and have to say no right now, but please let me know what I can help with in the future".
- If I tell my business colleague or team member I can’t help her (______fill in blank) today I’ll be letting her down. I don’t want to disappoint her but this just isn’t a good time.
- SOLUTION: instead of saying ‘no, I can’t do that today’, say "today is not a good time for me but I have the following times available this week (list times). Which one works for you?"
- The family / husband / kids want me to be available for them at a moment’s notice and I feel so guilty telling them I have to work. The whole reason I took a work at home job was to be more available for my family and saying no means I’m not a good wife/mom.
- SOLUTION: Once again, scheduling is key (I promise I’ll be writing about this very important topic soon!) Just like a job away from the home, there are hours you must work and hours you are off. Make sure you have off hours scheduled and keep them. Now, instead of saying ‘no’, you can say , “I can’t go to or do (fill in blank here) right this minute, but I’m off work at xxx time and we will go to / do (fill in blank here) then.” Enjoy the fact that you don’t have to ask a boss to take that time off but don’t let your life be all ‘off time’ and no ‘income earning time’.
Do you struggle with guilt from saying no? Is there another 'no' scenario that wasn't addressed here but you could use some help with? Leave a comment and let's chat about it. If I don't have a suggestion, I'm sure there are others that do! Feeling shy? Leave the comment anonymously...it's that easy!
Or, have you succeeded in putting a boundary around your 'no' issue? We'd love to be encouraged, so leave a comment, with or without your name!